Why, I keep asking myself, as my head looks toward the ceiling, and my back lies flat against the ground.
Why did I play golf six-straight days while on vacation this summer, with a couple of those rounds followed by a run? Why didn’t I pause in between? Why didn’t I at least stretch? Why didn’t I stop when I felt *something* early on in the lower right side of my back? Why, why, why, why?
Well, honestly, if we’re on a true fact-finding mission, it’s because I’m stupid. If you’ve clicked on stories on these pages previously, you’re aware of that.
But yeah, in mid-August, after the last of those aforementioned jogs, an almost electrical-shock feeling hit me. Afterward, I could barely walk. I couldn’t bend over. Sleep was difficult. Running was over. Golf, too. Turns out, I had severely pulled a back muscle. (In full disclosure, the doctor never used the word “severely” in their diagnosis, but damn it, it hurt.)
Through pain comes joy, though — my tragedy works well as a lead to an article where I’m offering holiday wishes, 24 of them in all. No. 1, then, is obvious:
Listen to your bodies, friends. Indulge. But don’t gorge.
As for me? After a wonderfully detailed stretching and weight program — most of which involved lying flat on the ground, as noted in paragraph one — I’m recently back to full health. Back to running. Back to golf. Oh, did tee ball No. 1 feel sublime, despite where it ended up. Didn’t matter. Without question, I’ve gotten a healthy dose of perspective and appreciation and all that through all of this.
With that, let’s continue this annual piece. There are 23 more wishes left, and an obvious bonus one.
2. For Scottie Scheffler, more wins and fewer run-ins with the law are the obvious picks, but let’s go with more dry humor. If you missed it, his latest crack came earlier this month, at the Hero World Challenge, where he was asked this by a reporter:
“I saw Tiger joined you for a little bit during the pro-am. What do you guys talk about when he’s out there and is it a little bit surreal that here you are just kind of shooting it with Tiger Woods especially after the season you’ve had, how you just elevated your career?”
To which Scheffler responded:
“Yeah, I think most of the time we just talk about money and how the purses need to be bigger. Today we really grinded on the Ryder Cup and how it’s just such BS that we’ve never gotten paid. Tiger was really frustrated. He feels like he hasn’t made enough money in his career. I feel the same way. I feel like last year I didn’t get paid enough for what I did. Mostly that, just a bunch of griping.”
(Stocking stuffer: A complete recovery from his Christmas Day accident.)
3. For Rory McIlroy, another major, at long last, and it comes unsurprisingly at the PGA, which is being played at Quail Hollow, where McIlroy’s being king. (He’s won at the Charlotte club four times.) The stocking stuffer, of course, is a Masters win, but not even Santa can stop Scheffler there, it seems.
4. For McIlroy and Shane Lowry, more karaoke. Should wish No. 3 happen, “Finally” by Ce Ce Peniston makes sense.
5. For the previously mentioned Tiger Woods, a new Sun Day Red logo. You see, the current one has 15 stripes, one for each of his major victories, so yeah, another win at one of the big four would call for a redesign. Either that, or some sight of the career finish line. (Stocking stuffer: A win at the fifth major, the PNC Championship.)
6. For Bryson DeChambeau, clicks, views and subscribers. Wait, that’s on my list.
7. For Xander Schauffele, a victory stogie at Augusta, but I think it comes at Oakmont.
8. For Charley Hull, a victory heater at the Evian.
9. For Nelly Korda, attention to the level of Caitlin Clark, or more. Korda will take care of her play. But let’s get some eyeballs on her. Let’s get her a rival, too. We’d love to see a Korda-Jeeno Thitikul Sunday back-nine battle next summer at the U.S. Open at Erin Hills.
10. For Lydia Ko, another major. Let’s make it the Women’s PGA, which would leave her just a U.S. Open title away from the career grand slam.
11. For Lexi Thompson, peace. Her words at the U.S. Women’s Open, after she announced her retirement from full-time golf, struck me. “I just think, especially with what’s happened in golf, as of recently, too, a lot of people don’t realize what we go through as a professional athlete,” Thompson said. “I’ll be the last one to say, throw me a pity party. That’s the last thing I want. We’re doing what we love. We’re trying the best every single day. You know, we’re not perfect. We’re humans. Words hurt. It’s hard to overcome sometimes.” Stocking stuffer: One more win.
12. For the LPGA, a commissioner with friends in the TV and web-broadcasting game. Stocking stuffer: a Ryder-Cup-like team event featuring men and women.
13. For the Ryder Cup, a 13.5-13.5 score on Sunday, and playing captain Keegan Bradley leading Tyrrell Hatton 1-up on 18 at Bethpage. Stocking stuffer: Sahith Theegala wins 2 and 1 over Robert MacIntyre to get us to this point.
14. For Ryder Cup fans, the money to be able to see wish No. 13.
15. For Tom Kim, decades (plural) more of Presidents Cup fire.
16. For the PGA Tour, for the Strategic Sports Group, for LIV Golf, for the DP World Tour, for everyone involved in this tug of war, an ending. Does that mean coming together? Does that mean staying apart? Let’s see some resolution.
